✍️: Discovery Diagram by Jarred
The Reflection: PRODUCE OR RECLUSE?
The Breakdown:
Ever think…“I’d rather disappear than share my work?“ It’s true—there are risks associated with putting yourself out there. To make is to expose yourself. To create is to be vulnerable to the scrutiny of the spectators. That is the nature of a performer. This is scary. Therefore, it may seem easier to just throw your hands up and decide not to share at all—or—to withhold your most honest work out of fear that you (along with the work) might be rejected or worse ignored. Even though the process of making work may feel deeply personal, it is important to remember there is a separation between who you are as a person and your work outcomes. In short—you are not your work. Your work may be an extension of you or vice versa. However, this stands repeating, you are not your work. Work is something you make. As creative practitioners, we need to make astute judgments when it comes to iteratively making projects better—it’s literally what we’re trained to do! But this judgment can become a double-edged sword. When we cross the work / self boundary, by judging our character because of what we perceive as shortcomings in our work, big problems will arise. Let’s call this work-judgment vs. self-judgment. Passing judgment on our personal character (worth) because we’re not happy with our work production is a direct path to low self esteem, creative blocks, and eventually total burnout. In psychology, there are three strategic steps that can help you get unstuck from the trap of self-judgment vs. work-judgment. These steps are 1) self-disclosure, 2) self-distancing, and 3) self-compassion. We’ll explore these strategies in more depth in future posts, but today’s practice (below) is a trifecta of mental skills training to fortify your ability to go forth and produce confidently!
*PS We are only a little embarrassed to admit that launching Creative Performer took over three years due primarily to the produce or recluse phenomenon. So, we see you in solidarity and together we’ll keep creating 🫶.
The Practice:
Wait until you’re home alone. Now look in a large mirror. Verbally recall a time when you did something embarrassing that made you feel awkward or ashamed. This could be related to work or your personal life. Consider the emotions and sensations you feel during and immediately after recalling the experience and jot them down. Step 1, self-disclosure, complete. Now, look back in the mirror. Sincerely consider what you would say to a good friend or loved one if they disclosed this to you. Alternatively, consider you see the situation play out in a movie as you’re watching and aware of what’s happening but from a distance. Step 2, self-distancing, complete. Next, reframe your language and attitude to offer what you would to that friend or that movie version of yourself. Try to verbally forgive yourself for whatever happened, acknowledging that you are here now in the present and have moved on despite the embarrassing event. Offer a gentle, compassionate, friendly attitude toward the situation and the people involved, most importantly making sure you don’t leave yourself out. Step 3, self-compassion, complete. This doesn’t need to be shared with anyone else if it feels too personal. Remember what you practiced during this process. If you start feeling these things while working on a creative project, it is likely you have crossed the work / self boundary. Remind yourself you are not your work in that moment. When possible share your work and your feelings with at least one trusted confidant to break the curse of creative isolation and shame. Take the next 5-10 minutes to reset your focus and intentionally make a small step towards your creative goal. Rinse and repeat as needed!
The Inspiration: Iris Apfel
📸 : John Huba
“Doing new things takes a lot of energy and strength. Most people would rather just go with the flow; it’s much easier. But it’s not very interesting.” —IRIS
Iris Apfel truly understood that crossing the work/self boundary was a waste of precious attention and energy. She is unapologetically experimental and shows us the possibility of maintaining a creative edge while keeping personal integrity and self-esteem intact. She led a productive and high profile creative life until she died at the age of 102. The full length documentary about her titled “Iris” is worth a watch—see the trailer below:
Care to Share?
If you’re willing—feel free to share notes about your practice exercise or any thoughts about this month’s discovery in the comments below 🙂. We’d love to hear from you about how to make our monthly discoveries work best for your creative practice!
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